Wednesday, October 13, 2010

What if I marry someone, contrary to Gods will?

Question: I believe that God has a plan for us all that will lead us to be what God made us to be, however we often stray from that plan. I also believe that marriage is meant to be a lifelong bond and unity between a man and a woman. So what happens when a couple gets married and that isn’t in God’s plan for each one? CanGod’s plan can’t change to incorporate the new marriage that happened?

Answer: I believe that God is constantly reworking His plan. Some people have what (I believe) is the mistaken idea that saying God has a plan is like saying we're predestined. I think Gods plan for our lives is not so written in stone- He wants to see us fulfill our potential, but every time we mess up, a new strategy must be laid. It's like a coach having a plan for a team.

The thing is, God wants everyone of us, and deliberately wills each one of us, right?

But some of us were concieved by rape. Frankly, I'm sure all of us have at least one ancestor concieved in sin, which means none of us would even exist if not for sin! Even Jesus had ancestors concieved in sin. Does this mean God wills the sin?

So, Gods will is not so inflexible. I sometimes wonder if maybe I really was called to priesthood. But either way, I've made a vow to my wife- so Gods will for me now is that I be a faithful husband and father.

Would hGod “condone” the married couple divorcing if that puts them back on the path that God had set for them?

Answer: God hates divorce- He would never condone it. In the Bible Jesus made one exception, that divorce was permissible in the case of 'unchastity'. Most people think this means that if one spouse cheats on another, its OK- but scholars say it means that if your marriage is not sacramental, therefore not valid, or common law- basically if you're living in sin, then you can break the 'marriage'.

When you make a vow before God to be faithful to your spouse, there should no longer be any doubt about what Gods will for your life is. His will now is that you are the best spouse possible, and you partner with the other person to gro9w closer to God.

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