Why does God want us to Love Him?

The way I look at Gods love is like this-

Love is by its very nature creative. At an authentic level, even sinful humans will sometimes create, just to create. Paint a painting or write a song. But then, if we are pleased with what we created, we want to share it with other people.

Then we go and create other humans. Now obviously part of that is because the process is pleasurable itself. But take a look at my kids. They are pretty cute and nice and easy to love, but at the end of the day they are a lot of work and self sacrifice. If I had kids because of what I thought I would get out of them- love and affection and companionship, say- then I would quickly discover that a baby can't meet my needs. Most people know that ahead of time, but have kids anyway. Because they want to give their love to someone else!

So I think God created us for very similar reasons. He loves to create, and wanted to have someone who would rejoice in his creation, and someone he could love. He gets nothing out of the deal- just a lot of work and sacrifice. But it is worth it anyway, because love just wants to give of itself.

I think we make a mistake when we try to evangelize or encourage people to have kids or figure out why God does what he does- and that is that we assume that the only reasons for doing things are selfish reasons. So we try to compel people to Christianity or to have families by telling them what they will get out of it, when in reality it's a no brainer to realize that the sacrifices are huge. We have to appeal to a different part of people- the part that is self giving, or capable of love. Because that is what it is really about!

On a different note, I think people make the smae mistake when determinning their vocation- they look at it from a selfish perspective, and most people, selfishly, want to get married. But people who get married for selfish reasons will often get divorced for selfish reasons. It's funny that we keep acting like it is OK to get married considering only what the other does for you. I also think that this is the danger in immature (high school) dating. You commit only until you no longer get what you want out of the relationship, then the commitment is no longer binding. Rather than train you for marriiage, this trains you for divorce!

God lacks nothing and is not at all selfish, so he can't have wanted to make us because he wanted something for himself. Rather he made us because he loves to create and loves us!

I am a girl, with a girlfriend. Does God still Love me?

The thing about homosexuality, when it comes to sex, is that it is not perfectly chaste. This is because sex is supposed to be at least open to children. Since homosexual sex cannot possibly create children, it likewise cannot possibly be chaste. That being said, niether is sex before marriage, since it is not commited. Or sex within marriage using contraception. Or so on and so forth. Any kind of sex that is not part of a loving, commited relationship, or open to life, is sinful. (It gets pretty technical beyond that.... like a man and woman in marriage can have oral sex, but the act must end in intercourse, so that the act is open to life...etc.)

That said... Gods love is unconditional- period. Having a girlfriend does not affect the degree to which God loves you. But I would suggest to you that it is a sinful practice. (I say suggest, because the Church does not teach extensively on dating, or really at all, leaving alot of it open to interpretation.)

So I will tell you my opinion. Any sexual act outside of marraige would be sin- whether hetero or homosexual. Marriage to another woman is impossible. Obviously there is legal marriage, but it is not sacramental. If you get married legally, but not in the Church, than as far as the Church is concerned, it is still 'extramarital'. Our culture does not readily understand this... they think everyone should simply be permitted to do what they want.

But the Church has 7 sacraments, each of which celebrates something Holy. Heterosexual sex actually consumates the marriage, which is part of the reason that it is kept for marriage. It is Holy, and is in fact part of the sacrament.

Since homosexual sex has always been regarded, in scripture and in Church tradition as a sin, what our culture is asking the Church to do is to say "Something that was once sinful is now Holy." This is a blatant contradiction, and the Church claims to be infallible- which means it can never be wrong. If it can never be wrong, or even if it makes the claim, this means it can never contradict itself. If it did, then you would know that it was full of it, and frankly why would you have to believe anything else it said?

The purpose of dating is to lead to marriage- so dating another girl means setting her up to be broken up with. Or deliberately planning to one day live in sin- which would actually be sinful now. What you are doing then is choosing to put her before God.

This is an incredibly difficult thing, and I have no doubt that your feelings are deep and real, if you say they are. However, the longer you are with her, the deeper the feelings will become.

No one knows what exactly 'causes' homosexuality. In fact, it is something that people cannot even speak openly about. If a psychologist, say, proposed a theory about it, other than 'they were born that way', he could be labelled homophobic, and ostracized from his community. In fact the gay movement has effectively used the word homophobic to make sincere dialogue on the issue impossible. Since I published this response on my blog, people may accuse me of homophobia and hate mongering.... that is the degree to which the discussion has been killed.

I like to say that I am not a homophobic, since I do not fear homosexuals, neither do I hate them, neither am I suspicious of people of being homosexual when they are not. People who like to label people like me homophobic in fact show those symptoms towards me- thus I would say that they are homophobophobic.

Be that as it may, homosexuality is like anything else- the deeper you go, the deeper it gets. I do believe that, though you would have a very hard struggle, that it is not impossible for you to leave this relationship, and future relationships with girls. The gay movement will tell you to 'come out', and essentially identify yourself as gay, and act as though this attraction is what defines you. Take your identity in Christ and nothing else!

Consider, I also have attractions to women- besides my wife, even! I sometimes may be in a situation where, nothing sexual is happening, but I know that I am fostering a relationship with a woman. So, because of my state in life, I also have to choose not to allow those attractions to develop. Celibate men and women are evidence of something that our sex crazed culture cannot accept- that it is possible to live a celibate life!

So what's the deal then? Yes, God loves you, as much as anyone else, and more than anyone else will ever love you. But you do have a difficult road ahead of you, especially in the short run. You do need to choose between God and your girlfriend. I will pray for you that you have the grace to make the right choice.

God loves you whether you're dating or not, right?

QuestionGod loves you whether you're dating or not, right?


Answer I think you know already that Gods love is unconditional. This means that no matter what, he loves you. Even if you're Hitler- which I hope you're not.

Dating is also not a sin, as far as I know. I should tell you that I generelly advise against it for teenagers... dating is supposed to prepare you for marriage. But when you're a teenager, more likely than not, the relationship will end in a breakup. So, something that is supposed to train you for life long commitment instead trains you for divorce, because dating couples think that as long as they are excited about each other, they should stay together, but if the novelty wears off, or they start getting annoyed with each other, or one of them gets excited about someone else.... then they should break up. Alot of people get divorces for these same stupid reasons.

That said, if you are in a relationship, use it ot train you how to love. Just don't think of it in selfish terms!

But alot of teens also feel that their value is somehow hinged in how attractive they are to the opposite sex. So if they don't or have never had a boyfriend or girlfriend.... they think they are less attractive, thus less lovable, less valuable, etc. That is a lie! You should know that men actually find women more attractive if they date less. For example, Catherine never dated anyone before dating me. But she is very beautiful- and in her case, it was not for lack of opportunity. The fact that she said 'no' to other guys spoke to her fine quality in my mind!

But your value should never be hinged in some external thing. People take their identity in all kinds of things- popularity, sports, intelligence, faith, wealth, jobs, etc. You should try to take your identity in Christ, which means this....

If you wonder how good you are, or how beautiful, or any number of like questions, ask Christ. If you don't hear Him answer, try to guess which answer He would give. Jesus is truth, so He cannot lie. The fact that we can guess what He would say indicates that we actually already know the truth- but people and our culture lie to us so much, and we repeat those lies to ourselves so much, that sometimes the truth gets drowned out by lies. Choose to speak and believe the truth!